Memories of New Year
In my childhood I’ve had many moves from place to place due to my father’s job transfers, and we ended up having no 'hometown' to take a root in. But my entire family still enjoyed family gatherings twice a year, “Obon” festivals in summer and New Year in winter. My father's side of the family had five siblings and my mother's had only two; yet the smaller number meant that even my grandparents' cousins would join and embrace one another as if we were all part of one big family.
At the end of each year, all the family and relatives would gather at our patriarch’s house by New Year's Eve to celebrate New Year's Day. Upon waking up on the morning of this special New Year’s Day, we, all the children, put on new underwear and our festive attires for celebration and then go up to our elders to wish them,
“Happy New Year!”
It was our custom to go first to the head of the family and then to the elders in order. After sitting straight on our knees to greet for the new year and receiving the gift from them, we would bow once more with our three fingers only touching on the floor (considered casual greeting but polite to the close persons) and say,
"Thank you!"
After repeating so again and again, I used to feel like I was turning into ‘a drinking bird' by the parlor window, which is a glassmade bird-looking toy with a flask-shaped belly filled with red- or blue-colored fluid. The bird’s body makes emotionless pivotal movements back and forth as the water on its beak evaporates and the temperature changes with the fluid in the flask to move, using the laws of thermodynamics.
The traditional ‘Osechi’ cuisine presumably originated in giving the kitchen some rest for the first three days of the new year by filling the traditional multi-tiered lacquerware boxes with long-lasting feasts. However, in those years of my childhood after the period of the rapid economic growth, people became rather obsessed with material wealth, which led them to the more luxurious mode, especially for festive events. So they couldn’t be satisfied with only ‘Osechi’ in the boxes.
So, over the year-changing several days, the women ended up cooking more in the kitchen and had no time to rest because they were expected to prepare more dishes. They served platters of sashimi, roast beef, freshly fried large prawns and other dishes in addition to year-crossing ‘Toshikoshi soba’ (noodles eaten on New Year’s Eve) and Osechi feasts.
As the men kept chatting leisurely over glasses of wine and the women kept standing up around to replenish the drinks and snacks, I, a young child, was usually sent to the small room of the house a little afar, so as not to disturb the adults, and spent the time with my cousins teaching me board games and playing cards.
I was around ten years old when I started helping to cook osechi, which was a lot of fun.
I was so happy to see the clear and bright cross-section of a boiled egg with two layers of yellow and white and black beans as puffy as I had wanted them to be.
However, as I was given the task of making large quantities of “Matsumae pickles” and became so eager to slice dried squid and kombu seaweed as thin as possible in order to make it more tasty, my fingers became dented and painful with the tight grip of holding a knife. Eventually, New Year's days were no longer all fun games.
I enjoyed helping out, but they appeared not to care about my dedication at the corner of the room. I served endlessly without rest and was left alone with sore fingers while the older women gathered in the kitchen and the men sat on the sofa sipping whisky. In the middle of the bustling voices all around me, I came to realize that I had no one to chat with. This was what the 'house’, ancestral home, of patriarchal authority means to me.
Family name maintained by ‘heretics’
Though the New Year celebration of the extended family seemed to last forever, the ‘house’ of the patriarchal system unexpectedly disappeared at an unbelievably fast rate. This was because in the family system, the prosperity of the 'house' depended on the prosperity of the male members.
Unfortunately, the sons, ‘male descents’ of my father and his brother never married and had no children. So the head family, who was the basis of the 'house', rapidly became smaller. It was only a matter of time before the 'house' without an heir would cease to exist.
Looking back, our large family which used to live and spend time together has diminished in size in less than fifty years.
But it doesn’t mean that we will die out. Just as a town remains after a country has ceased to exist, each of us remains as an individual even after the 'house' has dissolved. And even though the head family had discontinued, the relatives spread in unexpected ways. The family name also has been passed on in undreamed-of ways.
These include myself who got divorced, my cousin who married a foreigner and their children. I also have a great-uncle, who worked for a trading company in Nihonbashi and his descendants. He emigrated overseas before the war and was not involved in the war, so his house was not burnt down and his children also were untouched. Now the fourth-generation Japanese Americans are raised there in his new country. Their family name is the same as mine.
Life events such as the divorce, marriage to a foreigner, and immigration to seek a new home abroad caused all frowning within our family under the patriarchal system. This was because they regarded us as 'heretics' since they considered us little contribution to preserving the 'house' regardless of the individual circumstances.
When we ‘heretics’ underwent major changes and difficult situations, they, 'legitimate' relatives, shut the doors in our face, leaving us alone with no family helping hands. I naturally wondered where the bonds of the family had gone.
Half a century later, however, it is us 'heretics' who are now carrying on the family name and advancing the ’house’ further.
It is regrettable that the patriarchs didn't have at least a 50-year plan, if not a 100-year one.
Evolution was born of heresy, and embracing diversity is to enliven the groups and the masses. Looking back on the rise and fall of my relatives, I can say that I’ve had the firsthand experience with that.
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By the way, the reason why my great-uncle's family was not involved in the war is that Brazil, where they emigrated, was a country that was left out of the world war. On the other hand, the rest of the family in Japan, who lived in towns with no fields, were either burnt to the ground in air raids or died as soldiers in distant jungles.
Fortunately, those of us, the post-war generations, have not been affected by the war directly. Up to now though, we see conflicts continue to ravage many parts of the world. Even as I write this, you all know that the citizens in Ukraine and Russia are threatened in their daily living.
During my childhood, I watched the TV news in the morning and the evening which broadcasted (and still does) warfares and chaos in various parts of the world day after day. Those news led me to wish and hope even as a child that I would rather create something rather than destroy with my given wisdom and power in the future.
The average lifespan these days is expected to be around 30,000 days even through safe and healthy living since the birth of man.
I’ve fallen ill in the middle of my life, and my fever once persisted for 3,000 days. I am a survivor, but to be honest, I feel uneasy with this disablement once in a while, wondering how much longer I have.
While man tries to clarify life endlessly only to find out so much more, it is like the unexplored mystery of our time. Living with my illness after more than ten years, I’ve learned that I don’t have to set any limits for the time God has given me.
I do not ignore the voice of my body any longer as I’ve done before but listen to it carefully, and I will continue to dream and fulfill my dreams as I move forward in a long-lasting steady way. Hopefully as we all lead our lives in this way, we embrace our future beyond imagination. I am so thrilled to realize that each of us is about to live a life that has never been experienced before in history.
Loving and Praying
Nowadays, families have become much more diverse, and fewer and fewer people seem to have a Japanese traditional concept of 'Hare and Ke'. 'Hare' means days for celebratory events, and 'Ke' means ordinary everyday life. There seems to be more people who do not even celebrate New Year.
‘Osechi’ is supposed to be a family affair, but I hear that since reputable restaurants have started selling a one-portion ‘osechi’ for one person, it is reserved quickly. And I hear that some people say they would spend New Year alone just as normal days without preparing ‘osechi’.
As in “Let’s have a try” I once spent New Year's Eve and New Year's Day alone just as normal days without any celebratory air. Then I found unexpectedly the lively freshness of the New Year grew faint and sensed I had ‘become old’ just only to decay simply.
When family members gather together, they naturally see their roots with their own eyes. Gathering to welcome the new calendar seems to provide an opportunity to refresh one's way of life.
Talking about Christmas in the West and New Year's in the East, it is a great opportunity to take a break from work and get together. Why don’t we in this age dare to share more relaxing moments and enjoyable events together with our loved ones and close friends, do we?
It is interesting to know that various people from different cultures have come up with an idea of getting together in different ways during the season which is the coldest and darkest time of the year in the northern hemisphere and in which life seems at standstill.
It is usually difficult to notice things out of sight, and I regret that I hadn’t been aware of the people who spent New Year's alone, those who couldn’t go out because of disability and those who suffered from unreasonable discrimination until I myself became ill. Until then, my only saving grace was my health and I admit that I was foolish.
I know now that I am here only because I have been kept alive. With my deepest appreciation, I can't help but think of the people who have encouraged me passionately and also those who protect me somewhere even now.
During the time when I’d fallen ill to be unable to move or speak freely, all I could do was to love and pray. What more can a fragile person do?
I have no idea how much time I have left. Now that I have learned that the hell on earth has been created by people, it is my earnest hope to create a ”tengoku” (heaven) while I am here in this world.