Diary: 09/18/2012~09/23/2012

Pocket

18 September 2012 Tue.

Windy and rainy day. Trees shock in wind, and people at outdoor stall struggled not to have their store broken down.

Had two classes, and stayed at library all day long by doing an assignment and reading materials for tomorrow.

I was so sleepy today, though I don’t know why… I did have enough time to sleep last night, but I couldn’t help nodding off all day long while I was in the classes and reading at library.

This week we have an assignment paper, but I haven’t started yet. Time passes fast while I’m only reading class materials…

I might fail to sleep deeply even I’m in bed. Need to calm down myself.

風の強い一日だった。雨は、日中は降ったり止んだりで、たいした強さでもなかったのだけど、夜はけっこう降ってきて、図書館から寮までの短い帰り道、頭を濡らし、寒さにたじろぎながら慌てて走った。

なぜだか分からないが妙に眠い。睡眠時間は足りていないというわけではないはずなんだけど。

19 September 2012 Wed.

Both of the Quantitative and Qualitative Foundation classes are exciting for me. The lecturer of Quant. speaks in a clear and simple way, and that do make me feel the sharpness of statistical theory and thinking. The lecturer of Qual. speaks, on the other hand, so passionately, and her character seems to reflect characteristics of qualitative approach to provide deep insights on issues.

Sleepy today too. However long I take sleep, I’m still drowsy. Took a little rest between my study in the evening. Couldn’t finish pre-readings for tomorrow.

今日も同じく、異様に眠い。図書館やラウンジで文献を読んでいても全然はかどらない。たまらず夕方、寮に帰って仮眠を取った。予習も終わらないまま日が暮れて、焦りを募らせる。

−−−

20 September 2012 Thu.

I felt, I need a refresh, so walked around my dorm before going to the morning class. Unlike yesterday, it was so nice day, with blue sky.

朝食を食べている時、自分の身がずいぶんちぢこまっていることに気付く。
授業開始前、少し近辺を散歩した。天気も良く、気が楽になるl
昼休み、食事の後に15分ほど仮眠をとってみたら、それなりに目が冴えて、午後の授業・自習もまぁまぁはかどった。
身体と心の声をちゃんと聞いて、適切なリズムをつくらないと。

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21 September 2012 Fri.

Invited to my classmate, I went to the Tedeschi Trucks Band Live at Beacon Theater. Although this was the first time to know the band, their powerful and warmful sound attracted me.

チケットが余ったというので誘われた、Tedeschi Trucks Bandのライブに行ってきた。このバンドを知るのはこれが初めて。事前に数曲聴いた程度の状態で行ったのだけど、とても良かった。力強いのだけど、でもやさしいサウンド。Midnight in Harlemという曲が一番印象に残っている。都会で生きるには、こういう音楽が必要だ。

22 September 2012 Sat.

When I got on the train, three men were wrangling with slangs that I cannot hear well that they mean. one man hit another, but nothing could I do.

買い物からの帰り道の電車に乗ると、3人の男が口論をしていた。スラングが多くて何を言っているか聞き取れない。終いには一人の男が殴られた。次の駅で双方別れたようだが。大柄な3人で、止めようと思ったとしても僕には無理だったろうし、そもそも状況が掴めないからどうすべきかの判断もしようがない。

レポートに取り掛かったが、文献の読み直しと論点・構想整理だけして、その後結局筆が進まずダラダラと過ごす。恐ろしいほど不毛な一日。

経済的な見通し、それから今の自分の状況を考えると、将来への不安が止まらない。結婚とか、育児とか、介護とか、勤労とか。

23 September 2012 Sun.

Finished my Foundation Paper, and biology assignments, both are due on Monday. Studying together and posing comments on each other with classmates was very helpful.

I still have materials to read for tomorrow classes…Anyway, keep working.

In a biology lecture last week, the lecturer took nutrition as a topic. Learning about both of obesity and malnutrition and hunger makes me disconsolate mood, but I can do nothing but study here.

Just one month has passed since I came to NY. Study at Mailman is still hard, but gradually I’ve come accustomed with. Being accustomed is of course good thing, but that also can lead to laziness.
一ヶ月が経ったものの、とても褒められた状態にあるとは言えない。「反省」すらおこがましいほどの怠惰。吐き気。
何度目か、「真摯さ」の忘却。

Pocket

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