Diary: 09/07/2012


07 September 2012 Fri.

Gradually, my ears feel to be accustomed with sounds and rhythms of English. Theories and logics themselves are not extremely difficult to understand (of course there are a lot of dilemmas for public health practice difficult to judge, and that is what we should think seriously and deeply). I don’t need to panic to catch up with the contents although they are delivered in a foreign language, just need to prepare well and tell my ideas and opinions at discussion, honestly.
Actually I do feel nervous sometimes in lectures or while I’m reading materials, but I found that is is not the only my case. Through chatting with my friends or looking around a hall before lecture starts (not a few students are still reading materials hard), I’ve understood, for most of classmates, whether they are national or international students, it would be hard too to take a lot of courses and read tons of materials.

So… language itself is not the only matter. But it DOES matter for me unfortunately. Yes, I think I do understand what’s going on (maybe about 80-90%) and am catching up somehow, but necessarily my understanding and response always must be behind a half-beat, so sometimes I lose a chance to deliver my opinion properly and smoothly. Even when I could raise hand and tell my opinion to others during a discussion, I worry, “Wasn’t it foolish or irrelevant word?” even when it would be easier to discuss if it was in mother tongue.
The mood of class is really open and confortable, and classmates are of course generous and kind to each one’s opinion and background. So this is not their matter. It’s my matter, I know. But, regardless of surroundings, I cannot avoid feeling inferiority, or chagrin so far now.

Anyway, time will resolve. Only I have to do to wipe out my such complex feelings, is just focus on my duty. Study everyday, and speak and listen carefully and persistently.









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